Honoring Your Mental Health as a Mother
In 2019, 19.2% of Americans received some form of mental health treatment (CDC, 2020). And although this is up approximately .2% since 2018, I know many still face stigma about seeking mental health support.
I want us all to challenge that stigma, particularly mothers. To all you mothers out there, I know it can be challenging to come to a space of acknowledging you need support. Those feelings of internal guilt and shame come in and you begin to think and feel,“I am a mother, I shouldn’t think that, or I shouldn’t feel anger, or fear, or sadness with my child or myself as a mother.”
First, you are not alone, so many mothers have felt this. You are not expected to know everything and emotionally support yourself, your infant, and/or your partner without doubts or feelings of confusion, or uncertainty. I would even say in those moments of uncertainty and feelings it is proof you care, and have an underlying desire to create a safe space for your child.
Being a mother is difficult and complex -- it requires so much of your time, space and energy and challenges the very parts of yourself that you could not have prepared for. Your life shifts overnight to everything revolving around your child’s needs. You’re experiencing loss of sleep, your hormones are sky high, and if your labor was traumatic you are dealing with those feelings physically and emotionally. Add in the pressure of others around you, maybe others invading your space, or even your own expectations and attachments of how it would look and feel to be a mother as something you are grieving and emotionally trying to process. You are not meant to do this completely on your own, having extra support and a community to go to either for emotional support or to assist with balancing the needs of your new family is important. You are not expected to do it all or have it all figured out.
Given all these shifts and emotions reaching out for support is not something that is shameful but, in fact, courageous. Courageous to accept you need the help, courageous in creating space of vulnerability in session and diving deep into your feelings and allowing space to heal, courageous to show up for yourself in this loving way and embrace change head-on with open arms.
Why is it that mothers are expected to hold all this in and the view of not being “put together” is seen as weakness? I want to encourage you to begin to see if this story really serves you or the women of our community?
Break the barrier and be open and honest with yourself and your fellow mothers and family about where you are and your feelings around motherhood. Break the belief that mental health is seen as a sign of weakness and begin to view it and model it is about taking care of yourself, and creating a deeper connection with yourself, your child, and/or potentially your partner(s).
Seeking Mental Health Services is a way for you to break the cycle and begin to heal what you no longer want for yourself or for your own child as they grow up and expand into adults. Seeking Mental Health is courageous, and empowering to you and all mothers out there that are seeking support and are afraid too!
Empower yourself - I believe in you!
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Author's note: I believe motherhood is not exclusive to cis-women or to those in partnership(s). When I speak about motherhood and the identity of being a mother, I hold the complexities of how that term may resonate with some and not with others. There is a multitude of configurations of what motherhood looks like and all are valid.
