What Are Parasocial Relationships?
Why You Should Talk About Parasocial Relationships In Therapy
As someone who is very online, I see some kind of commentary on parasocial relationships every day, and they are usually regarded as inherently harmful. If someone labels you as “parasocial,” it feels like an accusation. It’s cringe, and you should be embarrassed for caring so much about a person who doesn’t know you exist. As a result, those who experience parasocial connections with media figures may internalize that stigma/shame and adopt a more negative self-image. Therefore, it’s important for therapists to create spaces for their clients to explore these parasocial relationships and the very real and emotional impact they have on their mental well-being. Let’s take a look at what parasocial relationships are and their effects on our mental health.
What Are Parasocial Relationships?
Parasocial relationships are one-sided emotional bonds where an individual feels a connection or attachment to a media figure, such as a celebrity, influencer, or fictional character, despite having no direct, two-way interaction with them. These relationships often form through repeated exposure to a personality in media (e.g., TV, music, social media), where the individual feels they know the figure personally, even though the figure remains unaware of their existence.
While parasocial relationships can provide a sense of companionship and emotional support, especially for those who feel lonely, they are inherently unreciprocated. The rise of social media has intensified these dynamics, as influencers and content creators interact in ways that can feel personal and intimate, deepening the parasocial bond with their followers.
Positive Benefits of Parasocial Relationships
While parasocial relationships have limitations, they can positively influence emotional well-being and provide meaningful connections for many people. These relationships may serve as a source of emotional support and comfort, especially during challenging times, offering a sense of connection that can alleviate feelings of loneliness. Being part of a shared fandom fosters a sense of belonging and provides a safe space for individuals to explore their emotions without fear of judgment. These relationships also promote increased social interaction by connecting fans with one another. Additionally, parasocial relationships can also be a source of inspiration, as individuals often look to positive media figures as role models to guide them in pursuing their own dreams and ambitions.
Harmful Effects of Parasocial Relationships
While parasocial relationships can provide comfort and connection, they can also negatively impact mental health in several ways. These one-sided connections can create unrealistic expectations and disappointment when real-life relationships don't measure up to the perceived intimacy of these bonds. Parasocial relationships may encourage an emotional dependency that can make it challenging to form fulfilling, reciprocal connections with others. Constantly comparing real-life relationships to idealized media figures can also affect self-esteem. Additionally, becoming overly invested in these relationships can lead to obsessive behaviors, which can be emotionally exhausting.
Understandably, the blurred boundaries between reality and fiction in parasocial relationships can cause emotional confusion and feelings of rejection due to the lack of reciprocated affection. Relying on these relationships as a form of escape can hinder emotional growth and increase isolation, intensifying mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. It's important to acknowledge these challenges and offer support to those who may be experiencing them.
The social stigma and shame attached to parasocial relationships can also have a detrimental impact on an individual’s mental well-being. This often stems from the perception that they are inherently unhealthy or indicative of social inadequacy and immaturity. Because these relationships are one-sided and non-reciprocal, people who engage in them are sometimes viewed as being out of touch with reality, “delusional,” or overly invested in fantasy. Critics may dismiss these connections as superficial or trivial, especially when they involve celebrities or influencers with highly curated online personas. Additionally, the emotional distress resulting from these relationships is often minimized because they are not “real” relationships. This stigma can discourage open conversations about parasocial relationships, reinforcing the idea that they are inherently problematic and those experiencing them should be ashamed of these connections.
Bringing Parasocial Relationships to Therapy
Talking with a trusted therapist about parasocial relationships could really help ease any feelings of shame caused by social stigma. Keeping these relationships hidden can make those feelings last longer. People often hide these connections because they fear being judged or ridiculed, making them feel isolated and secretive. This shame can worsen if they feel like their attachment is strange or a sign of weakness compared to more socially accepted relationships. Over time, keeping it all a secret can make them feel less confident, as they might think others don't understand or validate their feelings, which just adds to the negativity. This internalized shame can also stop people from seeing the good parts of parasocial relationships, leaving them stuck in a cycle of guilt and suppression. Exploring these connections in a safe space can encourage curiosity instead of criticism and help with personal growth.
Even though parasocial relationships aren’t reciprocal, they can feel very real and very intense, and we should all be able to explore how they impact our lives without shame or judgment.
