The Art of Letting Go
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
-James Baldwin
It is never easy to let go especially when the event impacts us in a way where we are never the same again. However, in the process of healing we must allow ourselves the opportunity to live again! We must remember that letting go is not for the other person but for us. When we hold on to negative memories or negative experiences it tends to weigh us down and stop us from being free. It prevents us from being able to build positive relationships with family and friends. It isolates us, makes us feel alone and holds us hostage in the feeling that there is no one that understands.
Here are some ways that can help us let go.
Formal/Informal Support- Being able to tell your story to someone trustworthy is also a healing process. If you find yourself having a difficult time trusting others it would be helpful to talk to a professional to help you start the process of healing. The more you tell your story the easier it gets. People sometimes believe that to retell their story they have to relive it which doesn’t feel safe but working together with a professional can help the process be both safe and effective.
Positive Mindset- Being able to be in control of one’s thoughts is a very powerful tool. You have to realize you have two choices. You can think positively about an event, for example, remembering what you learned from it and how you will use it to better yourself in the future, or you can think about the negative impact the situation has had on you.
Closure- Realizing that not everyone thinks like us. Sometimes we expect others to apologize or realize their faults. But what if they don’t? What if we confront them and they continue to believe their actions were right? We have to realize that we can’t control other people’s thoughts or actions but we can control our own. Finding closure in ourselves by gaining control of what we are capable of is often a good way to heal.
Write- Putting our thoughts on paper and burning it after or on a balloon and setting it free are a great way to let go. Sometimes a physical manifestation of a complicated intangible process can be a great source of healing and comfort.
Empty Chair- This is a process where one talks to an empty chair while imagining the person they want closure from is there. In this way you can still have the conversation you need to have even if that person isn’t available or refuses. *This technique requires the help of a professional to guide you in the process.
These are some ways to help us with letting go. They are not the only ways or the best ways. Everyone is different. But regardless how we do it, we have the right to be happy.
