Who Do You Want to Invite to Your Holiday Table?
What comes to mind when you think about the holiday season? Is it being bundled up in cozy layers of blankets on a cold evening with a hot cup of cocoa? Is it that warm family gathering around bountiful food laid out beautifully on a large dinner table? Or is it something else? Is it actually stress, the anxiety of gift giving and family obligations? Today, I want to acknowledge those who find this time of year deeply challenging. I want to acknowledge those who don’t receive what we’ve come to expect a holiday should look like, who don’t receive the comfort, love, and acceptance of family or community, who yearn for a sense of belonging they might only see on holiday TV specials or reruns of The Christmas Story. I want to acknowledge you. You are not alone.
In her monthly newsletter, “Letters from Esther,” Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Esther Perel comforts us that if biological/legal family may not be an option, we have the opportunity to find connections with our “chosen family,” that is our own personal collection of nurturing and accepting relationships we choose in lieu of or in addition to our biological/legal family.
So on this holiday season, let us reflect on those we choose, those who may surround us with support and love, those who define our community and “family,” and those who remind us that we belong.
Reflection questions:
What am I looking for in my relationships? Belonging? Safety? Trust?
What can I do to feel more connected to my community? Attend events? Reach out?
Who do I want to invite to my holiday table?
